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A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who is dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.

Saint Peter addresses the guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?" the guy replies, "I'm Joe Cohen,
taxi-driver, of Noo Yawk City."

Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi-driver "Take the silken robe and staff, and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

The taxi-driver goes into Heaven with his robe and staff, and it's the minister's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of St. Mary's for the last forty-three years."

Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

"Just a minute," says the minister. "That man was a taxi-driver and he gets a silken robe and golden staff. How can that be?"

"Up here, we work by results," says Saint Peter. "While you preached people slept, while he drove, people prayed."

Submitted by Auntie Claire

Feeling Hungry?

Little Josh was brought to Dr Gill cause he hadn't eaten anything for days.  Dr Gill offered him all the goodies he could think of.  No luck.  He tried a little scolding.  It didn't work.  A little pleading, to no avail.

Finally he sat down, faced the boy, looked him in the eye.  He said "Look young man, if you can be stubborn, so can I.  You're not going anywhere till you eat something.  You can have whatever you want, but only after you have eaten will you leave.  "

Josh just sat and glared for some time, then said "Ok.  I'll eat but I have some conditions.  First, I'll have exactly what I want and exactly how I want it and second you'll share with me."

Dr Gill was ok with this.  He asked the child what he'd like.  "Worms!" said Josh.

Dr Gill was horrified but didn't want to back out and seem like a loser.  So, he ordered a plate of worms to be brought in.  "Not that many, just one," yelled Josh as he saw the plate.

So, everything other than one worm was removed.  Josh then demanded that the single worm be cut into two and then Dr Gill eat half.  Dr Gill went through the worst ordeal of his life, and after finishing barely managing to keep his cool said, "Ok, now eat!"

Josh refused as he sobbed, "No way!  You ate my half!" 

Submitted by Sheldon

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